Ex-Rating Read online

  To: linaonme

  From: your daily horoscope

  HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CANCER: Today you will realize that what you’ve been looking for was right under your nose all along. Urn, duh?

  That so completely and totally bites,” Ramona Fernandez said. She and Lina walked down the hall after lunch. ‘They can’t shut you down! What good is a blog if you can’t write what you want on it?”

  “I know,” Lina said. “But what else can we do? At least we can still make matches. And we’re flooded with X-Ratings. Seems like everybody wants to unload his or her ex on somebody else.”

  “I wish I had an ex to rate,” Ramona said. “Does Dan count?”

  Ramona and Lina had once—not very long ago—been in love with their IHD teacher, Dan Shulman. It was the one thread they had in common—the delicate, tenuous link between them. But, like a spiderweb, it was stronger than it seemed. Ramona bugged Lina at first, and still did sometimes. Ramona was an outsider, a Goth girl who went too far off course, and she tried to tease Lina’s outsider self to the surface, which Lina didn’t appreciate. But she had to admire Ramona’s toughness and honesty.

  Ramona had started a cult around Dan. She created an altar to him in her room and wore skinny ties like his over her black clothes every day. Her three friends and fellow Goths, Chandra Bledsoe, Siobhan Gallagher, and Maggie Schwartzman, were so clueless, they were still wearing the ties. But Ramona had stopped, to Lina’s relief.

  “No, Dan doesn’t count,” Lina said irritably. “If we start matching students with teachers, the school will really go after us.”

  “I wouldn’t rate him that highly, anyway,” Ramona said. “Have you seen the way he tags after Camille like a puppy? I’ve lost all respect for him. He’s immature.” Their crush on Dan had died the day they realized he was seeing Camille Barker, a French teacher at their school. Dan and Camille didn’t bother hiding their relationship, since he was leaving at the end of the year, anyway. Seeing Dan act like a lovesick boy—over someone else—made him less appealing. Lina had always imagined him to be strong and self-contained, different from the boys her age. But now he didn’t seem so different after all.

  “Immature. Like you’re so mature,” Lina said. “The girl who worships a guy in clown makeup named Donald Death.” Donald Death was the lead singer of Ramona’s favorite band, Deathzilla. He had replaced Dan at the shrine.

  “Don’t dis the Donald,” Ramona said. “Anyway, did your parents listen to your big radio debut?”

  “Yes. They weren’t happy,” Lina said. “They think the Dating Game should be shut down. They’re afraid I’ll be branded as some kind of porn princess when I apply to colleges.”

  “I’d think being a porn princess would help you get into college,” Ramona said. “I mean, it is an extracurricular activity. And they say you can make a lot of money at it.”

  “I don’t see you trying it,” Lina said.

  “So are you going to let Rod kick you around, or are you going to fight?” Ramona asked.

  “Fight,” Lina said. “Mads is so upset. We all agreed to try to keep the blog the same, as much as we can. We might not post anything too sexy, but we’ll decide, not Rod.”

  “I love a good fight,” Ramona said. “And I’ve been looking for a good reason to stick pins in a Rod doll.” Ramona was into love potions, spells, and other supernatural stuff that, as far as Lina knew, never worked.

  “You need a reason?” Lina said.

  They reached the door to the school office, where Ramona sometimes worked during free periods.

  “See you later,” Lina said.

  “If Rod calls in sick with a mysterious ache tomorrow you’ll know why,” Ramona said.

  Lina walked down the hall to the office of The Seer, the school newspaper, where she was a sports reporter. She went in and found her friend Walker Moore at a computer terminal, working on a story. She’d been looking for him all day, since the minute she’d left the house. Had he heard her on the radio? What did he think?

  Walker looked up from his work, gave her a distracted wave, and went back to typing. He was a lanky junior with pale brown skin and a sweet face. Lina had first met him on a blind date—Holly had matched them on the Dating Game. The date didn’t take, but they’d been friends ever since.

  Lina sat at the terminal next to him. “Hi,” she said.

  “‘Afternoon, ma’am,” he said, still typing.

  She sat waiting for a minute, but he didn’t acknowledge her any further, so she dove right in. “I need to ask you a favor,” she said. “Um, I don’t know if you’ve heard what’s going on with the Dating Game—”

  He stopped typing. “Heard you guys on the radio,” he said. “Pretty funny. You really had that interviewer thinking that you all know what you’re talking about.”

  “What do you mean?” Lina asked.

  He batted his eyelashes in imitation of a cartoon girl. “Ooh, we have to beat the boys away with our hockey sticks! We’re all having sex in the equipment room at the gym!”

  “We never said that.” Lina was surprised he’d gotten that impression from the interview. But if he did, it was no wonder her parents were upset.

  “I know, I was exaggerating,” Walker said. “But you did sound like little junior sex therapists. Rob and I were laughing our heads off.” Rob Safran was Holly’s boyfriend.

  “I’m glad you were entertained,” Lina said, but she really didn’t mind that they were laughing. After all, she and Holly and Mads had been laughing over it, too. “But the publicity wasn’t good for us. Some parents complained, and now Rod says he’s going to shut down the blog unless we take off everything that’s the least bit controversial.”

  “But that’s all the good stuff,” Walker said.

  “I know,” Lina said. “We’re going to fight him. I’m going to write an opinion piece against censorship for the paper. But I can’t cover the story as news—I’m obviously biased. Will you talk to Kate about doing a news article?” Kate Bryson was the editor in chief of the paper.

  “Sure,” Walker said. “But you know, I’m kind of biased, too. I mean, I support you guys.”

  “Most of the students support us,” Lina said. “That’s okay. As long as you don’t reveal your bias when you write about it.”

  “No problem. I’ve been wanting to branch into hard news anyway.”

  “Sports is heating up, though,” Lina said. “Have you seen Sue Bartholomew pitch? We could be looking at the first softball championship in Rosewood’s history.”

  “Nah, they don’t have the hitting to back it up,” Walker said. “I’ll cover the censorship story—that’s big. Kate will definitely go for it.”

  Lina loved talking sports with Walker, as well as newspaper stuff. She felt like a hard-nosed reporter with him. “Thanks, Walker.”

  “I guess the first thing to do is interview Rod,” Walker said, making some notes on a piece of paper. “Then get some reactions from teachers and students, maybe parents …”

  Lina watched him, the stiff brown spikes of his hair, his long fingers busy with the pen, and a warm feeling washed over her. He was so nice. She asked for a favor, and he got right on it. He stopped writing and looked up, as if aware that she was watching him. He smiled awkwardly. Embarrassed, she smiled back. She tried to look away, but she couldn’t. That smile … Had he always had such a cute smile? Why hadn’t she noticed it before?

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “Sure. Fine.” She tore her eyes away from his face and started digging through her bag to make herself look busy. Stupid! Why did she have to let him catch her staring like that?

  He went back to work, and she moved to another desk. Her eyes kept drifting toward him. He was typing, clickety-clickety-click. So fast! He looked cute when he was concentrating. His forehead crumpled slightly, right between his eyebrows.

  Lina stared at the swirling screen saver in front of her, then pressed a key to make it stop. Funny. She fe
lt dizzy all of a sudden. And a little warm. She touched her fore-head. Could she be getting sick?

  She felt fine, other than this hot, flushed sensation. She placed her hands on the keyboard, ready to type. DATING GAME OPINION PIECE, she wrote, just to get started. She paused. What would be a good title?

  Clackety-clackety-clack. She glanced at Walker. He wasn’t having any trouble concentrating. At the sight of him, her skin flushed again.

  You’ll be okay, she told herself. Come on, think!

  She decided to try the stream-of-consciousness method she used sometimes when she felt blocked. If she wrote the first thing that popped into her head, sometimes it loosened her up and ideas came pouring out.

  Typing walker crumple forehead clicky clacky cute fingers touch keyboard face honey sweet lips kiss kiss kiss kiss …

  She stopped. What the hell was she writing? She read it over. Kiss kiss kiss … ?

  Okay, this was weird. Why was she writing about kissing? She was supposed to be expressing her outrage over censorship.

  Maybe she really was sick. Focus, she told herself. Get a grip. She started typing again.

  A progressive school like RSAGE should set a good example for its students. Suppressing ideas the administration doesn’t agree with only makes you want to kiss Walker right now.

  She froze. Was she possessed? Why did this keep happening?

  Stop being silly, she told her brain. Concentrate!

  Mr. Alvarado and the parents’ board are making you all melty inside, and if you don’t kiss Walker soon, you’ll go out of your mind.

  Lina stared at her fingers as if they’d betrayed her. She felt like slapping herself in the face—anything to snap out of this strange trance. But what would Walker think if he saw her slapping herself silly like one of the Three Stooges?

  Since when do you care what Walker thinks?

  Okay, this was getting out of hand. She pressed her fingertips against her eyes, hoping to cool down. Then she cracked her knuckles. Back to work. Let’s get down to it. Censorship. Serious issues. Start typing. Go.

  Hey stupid, don’t you get it? You like Walker.

  The sentences glared at her. They might as well have been written in red neon. She reread them. Oh my god, she thought. It’s true.

  I like Walker.

  She let her hands fall, mashing the keyboard.

  I like like Walker.

  “Are you okay?” Walker turned toward her. “You look funny.”

  Lina touched her cheek. “Me? I’m fine. I thought I was getting sick, but now I realize—” She stopped. Now I realize I have a huge gi-normous bleeping crush on you!

  Yeah, tell him that, a little voice in her head said, not without sarcasm. That will really put him at ease.

  “I typed up a few different angles, ways I could approach the censorship story,” Walker said. “You want to come take a look?”

  “Sure.” Her voice trembled. Did he notice? He was actually getting work done. And she was letting her sub-conscious type out her totally embarrassing lust for him. She deleted what she had written—she hadn’t completely lost her mind—and stood slowly. She walked over to him, steadying herself against the various desks and chairs on the way. Then she sank into the seat next to him.

  “You sure you’re okay?” he asked. “You’re all wobbly.”

  She looked at him. His face was only a foot away from hers. One foot. She could just lean over and kiss him if she wanted to. It would be easy. Just lean over …

  “Lina?”

  “I worked out too hard in gym today, that’s all,” Lina lied. She didn’t even have gym that day. “Muscle spasms.”

  “Got to watch that,” Walker said. “Anyway, I thought I’d go to Rod’s office and get his side of the story, maybe call the head of the parents’ board and talk to her—”

  “And me,” Lina blurted out. “You could interview me.” It was a chance to be alone with him. She imagined him asking her questions, writing down her brilliant answers, and then falling into her arms. …

  “Just you? What about Mads and Holly?”

  He didn’t seem to be thinking along the same lines she was, which irritated her. “I thought it might be easier to talk to us one at a time—”

  The bell rang. Lina had to go to her next class. She didn’t want to. She wanted to stay there, alone with him in that office, slowly closing up the one-foot distance between their chairs.

  But she couldn’t. And neither could he. He saved what he’d written and got to his feet.

  “Listen,” she said. “Why don’t we meet at Vineland after school today and talk about it?” Vineland was a popular café in town, a cozy little cottage with a fireplace and a nice view of the valley. A good place to warm things up between her and Walker.

  Walker stuffed some books in a backpack and hurried to the door. “I’ve got chem lab now. We’ll talk later.”

  Lina followed him. “At Vineland?”

  He nodded and disappeared into the crowd of students that emptied into the hall. Lina headed for geometry, her pulse fluttering. She felt charged, electric. Walker! She couldn’t wait to see him again.

  She liked him!

  • • •

  Lina pulled her cell phone out of her jacket pocket and dialed Holly’s number. “Hey, where are you?” Lina asked.

  “I’m just pulling into Rob’s driveway,” Holly said. “Where are you?”

  “At Vineland.”

  “With Mads?”

  “No. Alone.”

  “Alone? What are you doing?”

  “Waiting for Walker. I was supposed to meet him here.” She paused. “An hour and a half ago.”

  There was a second of silence on Holly’s end of the line. “He didn’t show?”

  Lina pressed her hand to her eyes. “No. He didn’t show.”

  “Well, so, why don’t you leave, then?”

  “Holly, you don’t understand,” Lina said. “This afternoon, I was watching him write and I had a revelation. An awakening.”

  “What?”

  “I like him, Holly. I like Walker.”

  “Finally! I think he’s liked you for a long time.”

  “Then why didn’t he show up when I asked him out for coffee?”

  “Boys, Lina. Who knows what’s going on in their dopey little minds? Rob’s mother is at the front door, waving to me. I’d better go in now. Call me tonight.”

  “Okay. Bye.” Lina closed her phone and got ready to leave. Walker wasn’t coming. Why did he stand her up? Just a day before, she wouldn’t have cared, but now … Why did things have to be this way? Just once, couldn’t she like a boy at the same moment he liked her?

  QUIZ: WHAT’S YOUR DATING STYLE?

  Are you a Hunter, a Cultivator, a Deer in the Headlights, or Roadkill? Check all statements that sound like you to find out.

  # I’m attracted to the cool, quiet type.

  @ I believe in love at first sight.

  & I wait to get to know someone before I will go out with him.

  % I always go after the hottest guy in the room.

  # I’m shy and self-conscious.

  % I know I’m cute, and I expect the best.

  @ I’ve been in love with the same person for ages.

  % I have crushes on lots of people at the same time.

  & I believe you should love the one you’re with.

  @ I believe there’s only one true love for each person on earth.

  & I like people no one else notices.

  # People don’t notice me.

  & My friends tell me I’m nurturing.

  @ I never seem to like the one who likes me.

  & Nobody’s perfect, but I’ll find a way to make them better.

  % My way or the highway.

  # I’m flexible—whatever.

  @ If my guy dumps me, I’ll do anything to get him back.

  # My friends say I’m too hesitant.

  % If I get dumped, I just say, “Next!”

  Scori
ng: Count the number of times you selected each symbol. Which one did you pick most? Read that answer section.

  Number of %s:

  Number of &s:

  Number of #s:

  Number of @s:

  If you chose mostly %s, you’re a Hunter. You know what you want and you’re not shy about going after it. Just be careful you don’t put some people off—not everyone likes your sledge hammer technique.

  If you chose mostly &s, you’re a Cultivator. You’re patient, realistic, and most likely to be happy in love. Just be sure you choose the right person to spend all that nurturing energy on, or you could find yourself wasting your time with someone not worthy of your goodness.

  If you chose mostly #s, you’re a Deer in the Headlights. The whole idea of love paralyzes you. Maybe you’re not ready yet. Or maybe you’re just too insecure. Loosen up and have some fun. If things don’t turn out the way you like, it’s not the end of the world.

  If you chose mostly @s, you’re Roadkill. You think you’re unlucky in love, but we’re not talking about luck here, honey. You choose the worst guys, you approach them in the worst ways, and you leave your heart out in the street for anyone to cover with tire tracks. Make friends with a Hunter and ask her to be your mentor. You need help!

  “Help,” Lina muttered. “I’m roadkill.”

  5

  Rob’s Sister Who’s Not Self-Centered at All

  To: hollygolitely

  From: your daily horoscope

  HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CAPRICORN: You will make a new friend today, which is good since it’s been a while.

  Rob’s in the family room,” Mrs. Safran said. Holly had only known her a short time but she thought Mrs. Safran looked older suddenly, her cheeks sunken, her skin lined and sallow, the circles under her eyes deeper. “I’m going to lie down for a few minutes.”

  Mrs. Safran padded down the hall to her bedroom. Holly felt sad watching her. The Safrans had recently divorced, and Rob’s father was dating a lot. Mrs. Safran wasn’t dating at all. On top of that, Mrs. Safran had spotted Mr. Safran on a date with another woman. Rob didn’t like to talk about it, but clearly his mother was taking it hard.